This unique artistic thinking of mine emerged in the year of 2004. I felt my life miserable and filled with despair, a few seconds can seemed like lifetime, but on the another way round, I felt sad and lost, and thinking of time past through us without any mercy .This was all about my torment school life. Madam Wong was a strict and demanding teacher. Everyone in the school disliked her, because of her unpredictable behavior. Everyone stood silent and paid full attention to her. But, unfortunately this was only an acts . I remembered once, she scolded me for not doing her homework. She kept preaching to me like a mother to her son. Her big and toad-like voice hurt me for a long time.
I reacted out my face of dissatisfaction and she wrote down my name for being rude to her. I was very mad at that time, but I just kept the feelings in my heart, because I didn’t want to be sent to the headmistress. When it was recess time, she walked towards the back lane and suddenly cried out louder and louder, the other students and I went to see what had happened. When we found out , our hearts sank and were filled with guilt. When parents complained about her attitude and teaching , she just acted firmly on what she did on us.
When someone pointed out her mistake , she was mad at them but apologized after some time .One day, when she was teaching ,she collapsed on the floor. Everyone was shocked that such a strong teacher could be so weak. One of us quickly called the nearest class teacher to handle on this thing. Madam Wong’s absence that day was a time of happiness to all of us.
But she returned to the school as usual the following day. I kept on thinking in my heart, oh man, why she ever come back again. She had been given 2 months leave, but she rejected it, because she did not want to abandon us. One thing had been our curiosity since her come back. Her teaching was not the same as before ,she taught us with patience and affection .This made us feel warm and happy. Our hatredness to her had been fully demolished. From that day onwards , everyone liked to talk to her and she appeared to be the most popular teacher in my school. However things changed one day, when she didn’t come to school. We, the students of 6 Gemilang were worried about Madam Wong. So, we decided to ask the school principal what had happened. She refused to tell us. Because of our concern for Madam Wong had touched her, she told us that, Madam Wong actually was a cancer patient since in the early term .We began to feel regretted for what we did to Madam Wong ,and felt remorse. We had been told that Madam Wong had only 3 months time to live.
We visited Madam Wong on the following day. Madam Wong pleasantly surprised at our appearance. She didn’t has anything to say but kept smiling. We knew that she just wanted to control her pain and heartache .We had brought her favorite fruit. There was a lot of change on Madam Wong .She lost her follicle and her face looked pale and weak .She said to us Don’t worry, its just a tumors ,nothing to be afraid of, it will be all okay, after a small operation on me ,I just have one small request from you all. Study well and prepare for your UPSR examination next month .Tears began flowed from our eyes .We hugged Madam Wong tightly and I admitted that was the closest time between us and Madam Wong. A new teacher was sent to us since Madam Wong’s absence. He taught us with great affection, but there’s still gap between us. It had been a month, since our last visit to Madam Wong.
We decided to go on for a second trip on visiting Madam Wong. We gave her a Balsam which is her favorites flower. She asked us with a low tune , how was your study ,did you all well behave with your new teacher .”Rest more , teacher ,don’t talk too much, we.. we wanted you so much to be with us. The live signal screen sounded off! TIT………………………NO!!!!!!!!TEACHER!!!!DONT LEAVE US!!! ”We cried out louder and louder .At that moment , our mind just in a blanked situation ,waiting the doctor to examined Madam Wong. Sorry ,we had tried our best. No !!!!!!!!.” Teacher, why you wanted to sacrificed yourself. How am I going to thank you teacher, you gave us all the notes and books , but we don’t even read it. Was this a way to thank you ,WE ARE JUST BUNCH OF USELESS RUBBISH , only know how to make you angry, we are not qualified to be your students. I just hope that my teacher will live on again and live happily with her family .Now, only I know the concept of a few seconds can be an eternity and yet years can fly past us without our realizing it .We can make the life more meaningful if we get use to it and work on it to gain more exposure. Thanks for reading my essay. (964 words)
Any opinion on my newly wrote essay?
Your essay is thoughtful and passionate. There are a few suggestions for grammar that I have typed in capitals. I may have not caught all of the grammatical errors but there is a bit of of assistance here for you:
This unique artistic thinking of mine emerged in the year of 2004. I felt my life WAS miserable and filled with despair BUT a few seconds can seemed like lifetime. ON on the OTHER HAND, I felt sad and lost, thinking THAT time pasSED through us without any mercy .This was all about my tormentED school life.
Madam Wong was a strict and demanding teacher. Everyone in the school disliked her, because of her unpredictable behavior. Everyone stood silent and paid full attention to her. But, unfortunately this was only an act . I remember once, she scolded me for not doing her homework. She kept preaching to me like a mother to her son. Her big and toad-like voice hurt me for a long time.
I reacted TO HER WORDS and she wrote down my name for being rude to her. I was very ANGRY at that time, but I just kept the feelings in my heart, because I didn’t want to be sent to the headmistress. When it was recess time, she walked towards the back lane and suddenly cried out louder and louder, the other students and I went to see what had happened. When we found out , our hearts sank and were filled with guilt. When parents complained about her attitude and teaching , she just acted firmly on what she did TO us.
When someone pointed out her mistake , she was ANGRY at them but apologized after some time .One day, when she was teaching ,she collapsed on the floor. Everyone was shocked that such a strong teacher could be so weak. One of us quickly called the nearest class teacher to handle on this thing. Madam Wong’s absence that day was a time of happiness to all of us.
But she returned to the school as usual the following day. I kept on thinking in my heart, "Oh man, why she ever come back again?". She had been given 2 months leave, but she rejected it, because she did not want to abandon us. WE WERE CURIOUS AFTER her RETURN. Her teaching was not the same as before ,she taught us with patience and affection .This made us feel warm and happy. Our hatred to her had been fully demINSHED. From that day onwards , everyone liked to talk to her and she appeared to be the most popular teacher in my school. However things changed one day, when she didn’t come to school. We, the students of 6 Gemilang worried about Madam Wong. So, we decided to ask the school principal what had happened. She refused to tell us. Because of our concern for Madam Wong had touched her, she told us that, Madam Wong actually was a cancer patient since in the early term .We began to feel regrET for what we HAD DONE to Madam Wong ,and felt remorse. We had been told that Madam Wong had only 3 months time to live.
We visited Madam Wong on the following day. Madam Wong pleasantly surprised at our appearance. She didn’t haVE anything to say but kept smiling. We knew that she just wanted to control her pain and heartache .We had brought her favorite fruit. There wERE MANY changeS IN Madam Wong .She lost her HAIR and her face looked pale and weak .She said to us, "Don’t worry, its just a tumors. IT IS Nothing to be afraid of. It will be all okay, after a small operation on me. I just have one small request from you all. Study well and prepare for your UPSR examination next month.".Tears began flowed from our eyes .We hugged Madam Wong tightly and I admitted that was the closest time between us and Madam Wong. A new teacher was sent to us BECAUSE OFMadam Wong’s absence. He taught us with great affection, but therE WAS still gap between us. It had been a month, since our last visit to Madam Wong.
We decided to go on for a second trip on visiting Madam Wong. We gave her a Balsam which is her favorites flower. She asked us with a low VOICE, "How ARE your studIES? Did you all well behave with your new teacher?
WE SAID, ”Rest more , teacher. Don’t talk too much. We.. we wanted you so much to be with us. "
The live signal screen sounded off! ………………………NO!!!!!!!!TEACHER!... DON'T LEAVE US!!! ”We cried out louder and louder .At that moment , our mindS just blanked ,waiting FOR the doctor to examine Madam Wong.
"Sorry ,we had tried our best. No !!!!!!!!.” Teacher, why DID you sacrifice yourself? How am I going to thank you teacher, you gave us all the notes and books , but we don’t even read it. Was this a way to thank you ? WE ARE JUST BUNCH OF USELESS RUBBISH! WE Only know how to make you angry! We are not qualified to be your students! II just hope that my teacher will live on again and live happily with her family .Now, I know the concept THAT a few seconds can be an eternity and yet years can fly past us without our realizing it .We can make the life more meaningful if we get use to it and work on it to gain more exposure. Thanks for reading my essay. (964 words)
Reply:It is a nice essay but needs some very minor grammatical corrections.
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